Friday, December 30, 2011
While weighing very little, the unnamed male pin collector had amassed over 100o pins, including 200 Phish pins, many of which were worn on an oversized hoodie, to accommodate the baubles. While trying to get up from his seat at a bar near MSG, he struggled to cross the street. With some help from friends and balancing on waiting taxis, the 20-something fan then fell over, unable to move underneath the weight of the hundreds of tiny Lilliputian metal coffins.
The collection that weighed the fan down:
"The dude has been a FORCE on the pin collecting scene since Hampton. Dude always has extras to trade, hooked me up with a sick pin from 8 and the entire puzzle set from summer 2010. I hope he's OK, but if not, those pins are fair fucking game man."
When reached for comment, the paramedics stated "we've never seen anything like this. It's like he was bogged down by pimp chains, but these are tiny as hell. We're re-hydrating him and hopefully can get some of these pins off him so he can walk, but so far he twitches and lashes out when we try to remove the pins. Its a daunting task."
The fan was reported to be in stable condition at Makisupa Presbyterian. No word if he took his tickets with him or hooked a brother up on the way out.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
"I just couldn’t take it anymore. The crowd just was not getting down, I didn’t see them getting into these thick bombs I was dropping and far too many were focused on their cell phones. I expect more from a crowd. So I did what I had to do”
The crowd, while stunned, complied and left the show, which was only two songs into the second set at 2:30 in the morning. “Brownie’s right, we could have done better. No, we should have done better. I’m sorry I let him down,” shared Molly B. Untzington of Floral Park, NY. “I brought my A-game but I have no one to blame but myself. Did you hear that fucking Minions? Shit dude, how was I not dancing with the intensity of a bomb going off?”
Others were not as thrilled and complained at the mass firing but they were reassured when reminded there was a post-post show featuring Orchard Lounge starting at 4am at the Highline Ballroom.
A new crowd was gathered out in front and informed that they were expected to “dance their fucking faces off,” according to a bystander who witnessed the transfer of crowds in and out of the venue. The switch of audience took less than 30 minutes due to the adept crowd-control exhibited by Allen Aucoin who had stepped outside to cool down after sweating for the last two hours and helped speed the transition.
The new crowd consisted of a few dozen Bisco fans who did not have tickets to the original show, dozens of tourists including a Japanese tour group led by Hal Masa, a few Times Square hookers, some homeless folks and a few hundred Occupy Wall Street Protestors who went on to chant "This is what a Bisco crowd looks like" upon entering the building.
The crowd was treated to a House Dog Party Favor->Space Bird Mating Call, although Shem Rah Boo was left unfinished.
Said Brownstein, “This is more like it. I love this crowd! Onto Chicago!”
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
10. Phish plays Crowd Control for the Occupy Crowd, location: some random park.
9. Something to make this gram of molly worth it.
7. A mashup of Thunderstruck and Fuck Your Face. Title: Thunderfuck Your Face.
6. Security guards that don't do their job and let us all get the fuck down wherever there is room.
5. A 30 minute version of anything, as long as it rhymes with Geezer or Schmost.
4. No mention of The National, ever again.
3. A new years gag that has something with houses. after a year of WHAT? and HOUSE, something like singing "OUR HOUSE" with Hugh Laurie on vocals would be expected, if not damn near guaranteed.
2. Gold Soundz.
1. No phish fans complaining about any part of the show (phans can dream, right?)
Happy Holidays from The Phunion. We'll be updating throughout the NYE run, so follow us @thephunion on twitter and stay tuned for news as it happens here at thephunion.blogspot.com
Monday, December 19, 2011
Jonah Ostrovsky from Merrick, Long Island, has been doing the countdown with his son, Ryan, for the past three months. "I counted back to when there was 100 days left on September 17th and we counted the number using toys and cards or whatever was around, then we drew the number on paper and put it on the wall in his room so he could see the numbers. I'm getting more and more excited as the days countdown. I think he enjoys it too!"
Ryan, only 6 months old, is far too young to comprehend the intricacies of math, let alone counting from 100 to zero, or even 1 to 10, but the thought that Phish fan parents are taking an important part of their life and making some use of it with their children is reassuring for the next generation.
Parents are encouraged to count numbers while keeping in mind a child's cognitive development and focus on numbers 1-10. Counting down the rest of the days left until December 31st, as of the 21st, would yield 10 days and one number to learn each day through repetition, visual aides and counting aloud.
Younger fans are encouraged to take part in couch tour with their parents all four nights, but keep in mind parents will need to be wary of songs like "Fuck Your Face" and may have to answer questions about "The Meatstick". However, the dances during "Punch You in the Eye" and "Guelah Papyrus" can introduce a child into the world of Phish in a way children will appreciate for the fun and lighthearted nature of the songs.
The math concept of "1 for 3, 2 for 5" is encouraged to be taught no earlier than 3rd grade, as the art of making a deal is not understood until age 9.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
"I Fucking Hate Glowsticks! Seriously, these things are the worst. I'm at a show, they play YEM and they go flying. I'm usually on the floor FOB near the rogue tapers and those god damn sticks come flying. It makes me so angry I want to punch a n00b, right in his fucking eye. Yeah, I've done that before too. Not proud of myself, but I did it!"
Phish fans have recently discussed the merits of Glowsticks at shows, as a planned event to START the 12/28 show has garnered hundreds of attendees via the
Facebook event page but at the same time has led to increased conversation among Phish fans as to the purpose of Glowsticks at shows. Some think they are cool, some think they are annoying, but with the support of King Wilson it is clear that the anti-Glowstick crowd has gained a major endorsement.
"Anyone who agrees with me is cool. If you don't like Glowsticks, we can hang before the show, eat some molly, rip lines, punch n00bs, whatever the fuck ya want. I roll heavy and don't take shit from no one. We rage in ways that are unheard of yet."
Wilson continued, "You know Dave Anver? That guy is a fucking pussy compared to me!"
Harping on his hatred of Glowsticks, he even continued to add credence to the rumor that dub-step DJ Skrillex is the product of improper Glowstick use. "I heard Skrillex ate a glowstick before he started producing that god awful shit fuck music he makes. Serves him right. Fuck him too."
It seems that fans of Glowsticks have their work cut out for them on 12/28, with a vocal opponent leading the fans who hate Glowsticks. 'No i cant have fun!"
"And if Phish plays anything less than a 8 minute Tube, shit is gonna get REAL!"
Saturday, December 3, 2011
"I can't complain, I have my family, my health. Plus I get to play in a jazz trio every Wednesday night downtown at a martini bar, although they sometimes turn my amp down."
When not working or playing guitar, Jeff has no remorse on leaving Phish, a band that went on to have huge national touring success. "Look, I get $50 every time they play Possum and $75 everytime they play Camel Walk. So in case you missed the last few tours, I'm doing very well thank you very much."
Added Holdsworth, "Finally gonna put a pool in. Aboveground."
Co-workers did not seem to be aware that Holdsworth was one of the founders of Phish. "He talks about it, but we figured he was just talking out his ass, about being in Phish. One day we looked it up and by god, there it is - Jeff playing with Trey. We had no idea."
When the interview resumed, Jeff showed a photo of Trey and him from 1985 photo at UVM. He then silently stared at the photo for 3 minutes, alternating between emotions - first smiling, then a tear, then a look of frustration before turning back to the interview.
"Where were we? Oh right, well, I have my trio to look forward to each week and if fans were to stop down and check it out, that would be pretty sweet. And in case anyone else is reading, I 'try' to keep my calendar pretty open."
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Amid growing concerns that Wilson is indeed unfit to be the Duke of Lizards, a recent poll showed that 53% of Lizards believed Wilson to have been born in nearby Narnia. The AC/DC Bag, assistant and executioner for Wilson said in a statement, "We have been over this. When King Wilson took over as leader of Gamehendge, he posted his short form birth certificate for all to see on the rhombus. He was born here in Gamehendge, grew up on the south side of Prussia and spent two years traveling foreign lands - Atlantis, Xanadu, Shangri-La and Moldavia, where he spent time with his cousin Vigo the Carpathian. To continue questioning his place of birth distracts us from that which we must focus on - the continued enslavement of the lizards."
The Lizards were none too pleased. One member of a growing faction of lizards, The Tela Party, suggested that Wilson would face an uphill battle, literally, from an army led by Tela Party favorite Colonel Forbin. "With an army of lizards, King Wilson would be forced to reveal his long form birth certificate or face rebellion," said a lizard who would only say his name was RTB, due to the steps Wilson has taken to quell anti-Wilson press.
Whether or not Wilson will produce his long-form birth certificate remains to be seen. For now, the lizards are continuing to do thing smart people don't do, such as trivialize where a dictator was born.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Over the Summer of 2011, Phish fans quietly agreed to never again bring up, discuss or in any way mention “Art Photos”. This decision was reached mutually among Phish fans who knew what happened at that one venue on
Sunday, October 16, 2011
The Phunion asks that you please share this with your family and any kidz who may like Molly, but not know that Mali exists. Granted, it's pretty depressing in Mali year-round compared to taking Molly, and definitely not as much fun, but it is important to know geography.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Member of Norwegian Parliament Sven Svenson, a 1987 graduate of
While some felt others were more deserving, including Activists, Political Prisoners, the Initiators of the “Arab Spring” movement and website Wikileaks, other members of the committee expressed their support for Phish.
Olga Olafson, a member of the committee was enthusiastic about the nomination of Phish after SuperBall 9 and her excitement grew as she shared her rationale for choosing Phish as the Nobel Laureate this year. “Have you listened to the Waves Soundcheck from
Of the 20 organizations that have received the Nobel Prize in the past 110 years, there has been no musical recipient of the high honor, making Phish a band to break new ground both at home and abroad.
As is the norm, a concert is planned in
They have a Spektrum in Oslo.
This will mark Phish's first performance in
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Yet Phish now has their opportunity to right the ship that was
Many Phish fans may even return to the spot known as the worst concert ever, to reminisce about the tragedy of
Of course not all fans are happy about the benefit concert as Jon Horningston from
Monday, September 5, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Ethiopian Jerry Haile Selassie wins The 101st Running of the First Annual Runaway Jim Memorial 5k Road Race
Friday, July 29, 2011
"His girth and ability to consume more sushi than even the greatest of Yokozunas in our thousand year history. A thousand blessings upon him!"
Schools in action
Schools recent cologne, Barbecue Sauce, debuted in
Takanoshi, a 'splead-head' from
Schools could not be reach for comment, as he was eating a small village during setbreak.
Schools shows off the location of the village he will consume now that he is a Yokozuna