Sunday, October 16, 2011

9/10 kidz think the country of Mali is a drug

Adding to the woeful state of affairs for education in America, a study released today by the Barber Institute today show that 9 out of 10 kidz think that Mali is not a country in Western Africa, but the recreational drug known as molly. The study, sponsored in part by the African Sky, a charity working in Mali to promote education and better health, was initiated because of a past volunteer who arrived expecting Mali to be something it was not.


Director of Media Relations, Pierre Tigana, shared that "this girl, she arrived eyes bright and very excited to be here. Very excited, and she could only ask when we were going to pick up. I did not understand this 'pick up', so we brought her to training, only to have her ask around for 'shards' and 'mahl', neither of which we understood. Jetlag is a problem even for me when I travel abroad, so we gave her a day to relax, hoping she would be prepared for the long haul of volunteer work. It turned out that this was not the case and that she was intensely looking for something that we could not discern nor provide. Finally, she gave up and went home screaming 'FALSE ADVERTISING!!!' and warned people not to expect Mali (sic) in Mali, whatever that means.'

This guy, Steve....

One of the kidz, Steve Gardenia reacted in a manner consistent with the study, "You have GOT to be fucking with me man! No FUCKING WAY there is a country called Molly (sic)! Those folks must have the best show ever, every single day and night."

To help the kidz understand the difference between Mali and Molly, The Phunion would like to take the time to explain to all our readers how to tell Mali and Molly apart.

Mali - this is a country in Western Africa

This is MDMA, also known as Molly, Mahl and Shards.

The Phunion asks that you please share this with your family and any kidz who may like Molly, but not know that Mali exists. Granted, it's pretty depressing in Mali year-round compared to taking Molly, and definitely not as much fun, but it is important to know geography.

No comments:

Post a Comment