Because we all want to hear certain songs or see certain things at the 4 upcoming Phish shows, here is The Phunion's staff list of things they are looking for the most to end the year:
10. Phish plays Crowd Control for the Occupy Crowd, location: some random park.
9. Something to make this gram of molly worth it.
8. Lifeboy.
7. A mashup of Thunderstruck and Fuck Your Face. Title: Thunderfuck Your Face.
6. Security guards that don't do their job and let us all get the fuck down wherever there is room.
5. A 30 minute version of anything, as long as it rhymes with Geezer or Schmost.
4. No mention of The National, ever again.
3. A new years gag that has something with houses. after a year of WHAT? and HOUSE, something like singing "OUR HOUSE" with Hugh Laurie on vocals would be expected, if not damn near guaranteed.
2. Gold Soundz.
1. No phish fans complaining about any part of the show (phans can dream, right?)
Happy Holidays from The Phunion. We'll be updating throughout the NYE run, so follow us @thephunion on twitter and stay tuned for news as it happens here at thephunion.blogspot.com
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Phish Fan Parents using days left till NYE as counting lesson for children
Across the country, as Phish fans gear up for the holidays, the countdown to the first notes of Phish that will be played on December 28th is as enticing as Christmas or Hanukkah. But fans countdown not just to the first present under the tree but also to the first notes from Phish, and it has become a popular method for teaching children of Phish fans to count.
Jonah Ostrovsky from Merrick, Long Island, has been doing the countdown with his son, Ryan, for the past three months. "I counted back to when there was 100 days left on September 17th and we counted the number using toys and cards or whatever was around, then we drew the number on paper and put it on the wall in his room so he could see the numbers. I'm getting more and more excited as the days countdown. I think he enjoys it too!"
Ryan, only 6 months old, is far too young to comprehend the intricacies of math, let alone counting from 100 to zero, or even 1 to 10, but the thought that Phish fan parents are taking an important part of their life and making some use of it with their children is reassuring for the next generation.
Parents are encouraged to count numbers while keeping in mind a child's cognitive development and focus on numbers 1-10. Counting down the rest of the days left until December 31st, as of the 21st, would yield 10 days and one number to learn each day through repetition, visual aides and counting aloud.
Younger fans are encouraged to take part in couch tour with their parents all four nights, but keep in mind parents will need to be wary of songs like "Fuck Your Face" and may have to answer questions about "The Meatstick". However, the dances during "Punch You in the Eye" and "Guelah Papyrus" can introduce a child into the world of Phish in a way children will appreciate for the fun and lighthearted nature of the songs.
The math concept of "1 for 3, 2 for 5" is encouraged to be taught no earlier than 3rd grade, as the art of making a deal is not understood until age 9.
Jonah Ostrovsky from Merrick, Long Island, has been doing the countdown with his son, Ryan, for the past three months. "I counted back to when there was 100 days left on September 17th and we counted the number using toys and cards or whatever was around, then we drew the number on paper and put it on the wall in his room so he could see the numbers. I'm getting more and more excited as the days countdown. I think he enjoys it too!"
Ryan, only 6 months old, is far too young to comprehend the intricacies of math, let alone counting from 100 to zero, or even 1 to 10, but the thought that Phish fan parents are taking an important part of their life and making some use of it with their children is reassuring for the next generation.
Parents are encouraged to count numbers while keeping in mind a child's cognitive development and focus on numbers 1-10. Counting down the rest of the days left until December 31st, as of the 21st, would yield 10 days and one number to learn each day through repetition, visual aides and counting aloud.
Younger fans are encouraged to take part in couch tour with their parents all four nights, but keep in mind parents will need to be wary of songs like "Fuck Your Face" and may have to answer questions about "The Meatstick". However, the dances during "Punch You in the Eye" and "Guelah Papyrus" can introduce a child into the world of Phish in a way children will appreciate for the fun and lighthearted nature of the songs.
The math concept of "1 for 3, 2 for 5" is encouraged to be taught no earlier than 3rd grade, as the art of making a deal is not understood until age 9.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
King Wilson: I Fucking Hate Glowsticks
King Wilson, the evil ruler of all of Prussia and Gamehendge, Duke of Lizards and general all around douche weighed in on issue of Glowsticks at Phish shows.
"I Fucking Hate Glowsticks! Seriously, these things are the worst. I'm at a show, they play YEM and they go flying. I'm usually on the floor FOB near the rogue tapers and those god damn sticks come flying. It makes me so angry I want to punch a n00b, right in his fucking eye. Yeah, I've done that before too. Not proud of myself, but I did it!"
Phish fans have recently discussed the merits of Glowsticks at shows, as a planned event to START the 12/28 show has garnered hundreds of attendees via the
Facebook event page but at the same time has led to increased conversation among Phish fans as to the purpose of Glowsticks at shows. Some think they are cool, some think they are annoying, but with the support of King Wilson it is clear that the anti-Glowstick crowd has gained a major endorsement.
"Anyone who agrees with me is cool. If you don't like Glowsticks, we can hang before the show, eat some molly, rip lines, punch n00bs, whatever the fuck ya want. I roll heavy and don't take shit from no one. We rage in ways that are unheard of yet."
Wilson continued, "You know Dave Anver? That guy is a fucking pussy compared to me!"
Harping on his hatred of Glowsticks, he even continued to add credence to the rumor that dub-step DJ Skrillex is the product of improper Glowstick use. "I heard Skrillex ate a glowstick before he started producing that god awful shit fuck music he makes. Serves him right. Fuck him too."
It seems that fans of Glowsticks have their work cut out for them on 12/28, with a vocal opponent leading the fans who hate Glowsticks. 'No i cant have fun!"
"And if Phish plays anything less than a 8 minute Tube, shit is gonna get REAL!"
"I Fucking Hate Glowsticks! Seriously, these things are the worst. I'm at a show, they play YEM and they go flying. I'm usually on the floor FOB near the rogue tapers and those god damn sticks come flying. It makes me so angry I want to punch a n00b, right in his fucking eye. Yeah, I've done that before too. Not proud of myself, but I did it!"
Phish fans have recently discussed the merits of Glowsticks at shows, as a planned event to START the 12/28 show has garnered hundreds of attendees via the
Facebook event page but at the same time has led to increased conversation among Phish fans as to the purpose of Glowsticks at shows. Some think they are cool, some think they are annoying, but with the support of King Wilson it is clear that the anti-Glowstick crowd has gained a major endorsement.
"Anyone who agrees with me is cool. If you don't like Glowsticks, we can hang before the show, eat some molly, rip lines, punch n00bs, whatever the fuck ya want. I roll heavy and don't take shit from no one. We rage in ways that are unheard of yet."
Wilson continued, "You know Dave Anver? That guy is a fucking pussy compared to me!"
Harping on his hatred of Glowsticks, he even continued to add credence to the rumor that dub-step DJ Skrillex is the product of improper Glowstick use. "I heard Skrillex ate a glowstick before he started producing that god awful shit fuck music he makes. Serves him right. Fuck him too."
It seems that fans of Glowsticks have their work cut out for them on 12/28, with a vocal opponent leading the fans who hate Glowsticks. 'No i cant have fun!"
"And if Phish plays anything less than a 8 minute Tube, shit is gonna get REAL!"
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Jeff Holdsworth totally loving life
For Phish fans who were wondering, Jeff Holdsworth is doing fine and totally loving life. Emerging from the relative obscurity of life as a computer engineer, Holdsworth sat down with Trey Antipasta from The Phunion to talk about what life is like, 25 years after leaving the band he founded, Phish.
"I can't complain, I have my family, my health. Plus I get to play in a jazz trio every Wednesday night downtown at a martini bar, although they sometimes turn my amp down."
When not working or playing guitar, Jeff has no remorse on leaving Phish, a band that went on to have huge national touring success. "Look, I get $50 every time they play Possum and $75 everytime they play Camel Walk. So in case you missed the last few tours, I'm doing very well thank you very much."
Added Holdsworth, "Finally gonna put a pool in. Aboveground."
Co-workers did not seem to be aware that Holdsworth was one of the founders of Phish. "He talks about it, but we figured he was just talking out his ass, about being in Phish. One day we looked it up and by god, there it is - Jeff playing with Trey. We had no idea."
When the interview resumed, Jeff showed a photo of Trey and him from 1985 photo at UVM. He then silently stared at the photo for 3 minutes, alternating between emotions - first smiling, then a tear, then a look of frustration before turning back to the interview.
"Where were we? Oh right, well, I have my trio to look forward to each week and if fans were to stop down and check it out, that would be pretty sweet. And in case anyone else is reading, I 'try' to keep my calendar pretty open."
"I can't complain, I have my family, my health. Plus I get to play in a jazz trio every Wednesday night downtown at a martini bar, although they sometimes turn my amp down."
When not working or playing guitar, Jeff has no remorse on leaving Phish, a band that went on to have huge national touring success. "Look, I get $50 every time they play Possum and $75 everytime they play Camel Walk. So in case you missed the last few tours, I'm doing very well thank you very much."
Added Holdsworth, "Finally gonna put a pool in. Aboveground."
Co-workers did not seem to be aware that Holdsworth was one of the founders of Phish. "He talks about it, but we figured he was just talking out his ass, about being in Phish. One day we looked it up and by god, there it is - Jeff playing with Trey. We had no idea."
When the interview resumed, Jeff showed a photo of Trey and him from 1985 photo at UVM. He then silently stared at the photo for 3 minutes, alternating between emotions - first smiling, then a tear, then a look of frustration before turning back to the interview.
"Where were we? Oh right, well, I have my trio to look forward to each week and if fans were to stop down and check it out, that would be pretty sweet. And in case anyone else is reading, I 'try' to keep my calendar pretty open."
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Atmosfarag actually not named after Andy Farag
Stunning Umphrey's fans who have connected the song 'Atmosfarag' to percussionist Andy Farag, the band revealed today that the song was actually named after Farag Foda, an Egyptian writer and satirist of Islamic fundamentalism
'I read 'Discussion on Secularism' in college while I was on a plane and connected 'atmospheric' and 'Farag', not even factoring in that Farag is my last name,' explained Farag. 'Weird, I know, but that's how it happened.'
For a short instrumental, the name Farag fits perfect when referencing Foda. "The song can be played in the background while reading any of his works. I recommend it while reading "We Be or Not to Be. It is truly an amazing book"
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Lizards Demand to see Wilson's Long Form Birth Certificate
Facing growing skepticism from the Lizards, Evil King Wilson is being pressured to produce his long-form birth certificate, to prove that he was born in Gamehendge and not in Freedonia, as a majority of Lizards now believe.
Amid growing concerns that Wilson is indeed unfit to be the Duke of Lizards, a recent poll showed that 53% of Lizards believed Wilson to have been born in nearby Narnia. The AC/DC Bag, assistant and executioner for Wilson said in a statement, "We have been over this. When King Wilson took over as leader of Gamehendge, he posted his short form birth certificate for all to see on the rhombus. He was born here in Gamehendge, grew up on the south side of Prussia and spent two years traveling foreign lands - Atlantis, Xanadu, Shangri-La and Moldavia, where he spent time with his cousin Vigo the Carpathian. To continue questioning his place of birth distracts us from that which we must focus on - the continued enslavement of the lizards."
The Lizards were none too pleased. One member of a growing faction of lizards, The Tela Party, suggested that Wilson would face an uphill battle, literally, from an army led by Tela Party favorite Colonel Forbin. "With an army of lizards, King Wilson would be forced to reveal his long form birth certificate or face rebellion," said a lizard who would only say his name was RTB, due to the steps Wilson has taken to quell anti-Wilson press.
Whether or not Wilson will produce his long-form birth certificate remains to be seen. For now, the lizards are continuing to do thing smart people don't do, such as trivialize where a dictator was born.
Amid growing concerns that Wilson is indeed unfit to be the Duke of Lizards, a recent poll showed that 53% of Lizards believed Wilson to have been born in nearby Narnia. The AC/DC Bag, assistant and executioner for Wilson said in a statement, "We have been over this. When King Wilson took over as leader of Gamehendge, he posted his short form birth certificate for all to see on the rhombus. He was born here in Gamehendge, grew up on the south side of Prussia and spent two years traveling foreign lands - Atlantis, Xanadu, Shangri-La and Moldavia, where he spent time with his cousin Vigo the Carpathian. To continue questioning his place of birth distracts us from that which we must focus on - the continued enslavement of the lizards."
The Lizards were none too pleased. One member of a growing faction of lizards, The Tela Party, suggested that Wilson would face an uphill battle, literally, from an army led by Tela Party favorite Colonel Forbin. "With an army of lizards, King Wilson would be forced to reveal his long form birth certificate or face rebellion," said a lizard who would only say his name was RTB, due to the steps Wilson has taken to quell anti-Wilson press.
Whether or not Wilson will produce his long-form birth certificate remains to be seen. For now, the lizards are continuing to do thing smart people don't do, such as trivialize where a dictator was born.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Report: Phish Fans Agree Never to Mention “Art Photos” Ever Again
Over the Summer of 2011, Phish fans quietly agreed to never again bring up, discuss or in any way mention “Art Photos”. This decision was reached mutually among Phish fans who knew what happened at that one venue on
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)